Friday, March 27, 2009

End Game

I'm reading End Game by Derrick Jenson. Wow.
This book makes me horrified and angry beyond words. It makes even someone as comitted to surviving as I am consider doing the planet a favor by offing themselves.
(I only briefly thought about it.)
Everything I saw last night made me angry.
I was watching Modern Marvels on the History channel (Bulletproof) and an ad for the logging show Axe Men came on. I can't watch that show. It hurts me to watch the hills around my Green Valley be stripped of life, and to watch the process be glorified.
I said as much, and the Ex said "As long as they replant, it's OK. Without lumber we have no new houses, no growth." This is precisely the kind of attitude Derrick Jensen rails against.
"Maybe we shouldn't be growing anymore."

It was obvious he didn't understand. Didn't WANT to understand. He kept arguing, I kept grunting non-commitally.
Then Modern Marvels 'The Lumberyard' came on. More death. I went away. I couldn't watch it.
I looked at the internet, and saw an article about regulating banks, and how there should be worldwide standards and a Global Oversight Committee. Global Bank?

"This is it. We've reached the border. This is it. The New World Order."
Clutch - "Juggernaut"

Then the Dark Lord came on the TeeVee. Wow, he's letting real people like you and I ask questions in a "town hall" forum. Our government really DOES care about the little people. I feel so warm and fuzzy inside. Obammy GOOD......
Don't think for a minute all those people weren't selected beforehand, so they could only ask questions that continue to distract us from the real issue.




Oh wait, I forgot. That is exactly what TPTB want.
No more Salmon, or lobsters, or trees, or clear trout streams. No more tigers, or bees, or apples, or whales, or pumpkins.

Will our children be as blind to the horror of their existance as we are to ours? Will they just accept that "it's the way things are?"
If I live to see it, I WILL off myself. And I'll take out as many of the murderers as I can along with me. Death by cop anyone?

I'm glad the economy is in the toilet. It slows the "progress" a little bit.
This civilization has got to go. We need to throw it out and start over. Yes, lots of people will probably die. It is necessary. I just hope it's TPTB that go first.
Come on Mother Nature, little help here?
I know you're pissed. I know you've got it in you to take this shit OUT.

One passage in End Game really helped me quit worrying about my own story;

"All of this has to stop. The truth is I am going to die someday. That's life. And if I die in the population reduction that takes place as a corrective to our having overshot carrying capacity, well, that's life too. Finally, if my death comes as part of something that serves the larger community, that helps stabilize and enrich the landbase of which I'm a part, so much the better."

The most important revelations in my life have come when I was very afraid of dying. Each time, I was able to let go of that fear. If I die, then I die. C'est la vie.
Not too many things feel as FREE as releasing your fear.

So I'm not afraid anymore.
Now I'm just ANGRY.

"I have suffered/ for your sins. But now is when/ the fun begins!"


  1. Jensen is a good read...but please don't go all anticiv on us...
    As long as you're on this bent...
    Godesky is at best a fool....Godesky also does not take criticism well at all... Jensen on the other hand will debate you for hours...
    I've been following these guys writings for awhile and my take is this...Balance must be restored.
    That and civilization as it is can only fall so far.
    Say a 1840's tech level. That is where most anti-civ's will disagree. But as an amateur historian and blacksmith, I will hold confidence in that statement. If civilization were to fail right now. I could be smelting bog iron in 72 hours.
    I attempted to debate some anti-civ's on this and they stuck their fingers in their ears and started chanting godesky.

  2. I have to agree with a lot of your sentiments. My area used to be beautiful when I was young, but population has now quadrupled in last 30 years. What used to be quiet winter crop lands is now urban sprawl - how many damnable Wal-MartTargetLoewBestBuys do we need anyway.

    Property values through the roof - $60,000 and up for 1/2 an acre for a house - wtf! My parents home and property in same areas cost $23,000 and was paid off in 12 years, them doubling payments.

    Life just ain't nearly as simple as it used to be. Gimme the cool breeze and a sunset over TV anytime.

  3. I am with you, and with Dragon. There must be some "development", but not to excess like the last couple decades. Slow growth is fine, and we're at a point where a lot of "re-development" makes sense, renewing the old. Plenty of work for Americans, not so much for illegals.... Must find balance Daniel-San.....

  4. I guess what I'm really against is more "resource extraction." I have no problem with a tech level of 1840's, or even early 1900's. I like metal. I like organic agriculture. I don't want to go back to the stone age, or hunter gatherer.
    Things have just gotten too big, too fast.
    Most especially business, government, and our population.
    Balance really is key. Our current system is not sustainable. There are not enough resources to continue to support this level of consumption and population.
    Smaller diversified businesses = more jobs, less dependance on the 'machine' of industry, sweat shops, etc.
    Globalization is NOT a good thing. We need to be thinking about decentralization, and community development on a local level.
    If civilization failed right now, you wouldn't need to smelt iron out of a bog. Just melt down a Lexus (oh wait, cars aren't made from metal anymore, are they?)
    With a significant population reduction, there would be enough resources laying around for everybody.
    I don't even have a problem with electricity, as long as it's decentralized. If each town/community/whatever produced their own electricity, it would probably be at a sustainable level.
    Don't worry guys, I'm radical, but not THAT radical.

  5. I don't think you are radical for just wanting a more sensible use of our disappearing resources...not at all.

    I want to be in a place where the system relies on the individual and his/her family and friends to replentish and replace what they use, where nature is respected and is treated as a partner, where a person does not force his will on others but fights against the will of others being forced upon him.

    Sounds a lot like the "Golden Rule", huh?

  6. You hit the nail on the head Hermit Jim.
    We would all be better off if we followed the golden rule. Not just with each other, but also with Nature.
    Personal responsibility to maintain balance in our lives and ecosystems is what it's all about, but we never even get that opportunity with Monsanto and Exxon and AIG. (not to mention all the other forces of evil at work out there)
    It has gotten to the point where we have no idea where our consumables come from, how many humans or non-humans were tortured or destroyed to make it possible for us to have these things.
    I've met several people who didn't even know carrots grew underground!!!!!
    What do they think? Carrot trees!?!?
    No, it just rolls off a factory production line somewhere and ends up in the grocery store, peeled and ready to eat.
    Thanks for stopping by!

  7. Hi Maitreya, I found your site about a month ago and am hooked. your project is very interesting and your posts are well written. Most of the people who comment on your sight sound pretty bright too.
    I escaped a city about a decade ago and have been working on a homestead with my wife and family. I think once you get away and find your new home your dreams will get a little better. It's unsettling to be somewhere you don't belong when you have that sneaky feeling that shtf is coming soon. We're all going to see the world change in a big way and it's not going to be pretty watching all the "carrots grow on trees" crowd check out. But I think a lot of people feel it coming and after the ashes settle the world will heal.
    I have my nasty post-apocolypse dreams too but occasionally they end with me riding a horse past all the rusted out cars to a trading post to get some of the few things I can't do for myself. Not too bad really.

  8. Hi Anon 10:52, thanks for visiting and the nice comments.
    I think you are absolutely right. I am trying to concentrate more on looking forward to the positive parts of the future. I am in conversation with a great group of people who share many of my ideas and values. They are committed to forging a localized, sustainable future and are far away from the cities.
    Maybe I'll be a trading partner after the ashes settle. See you in a place beyond rusted cars.....

  9. Maitreya:
    Thanks for the angry post - it is actually therapeutic for me on a morning like today, when I feel incredibly angry and trapped and not understood by my family, etc.
    Today I just want to fucking check out of this cubicle, pack up my bags, and head north to the land and make a stand.
    But I don't have the funds yet, and my family would freak out. Actually, I don't really care if they freak out anymore. What will be will be.
    One step at a time, as you are doing.