End Game

I'm reading End Game by Derrick Jenson. Wow.
This book makes me horrified and angry beyond words. It makes even someone as comitted to surviving as I am consider doing the planet a favor by offing themselves.
(I only briefly thought about it.)
Everything I saw last night made me angry.
I was watching Modern Marvels on the History channel (Bulletproof) and an ad for the logging show Axe Men came on. I can't watch that show. It hurts me to watch the hills around my Green Valley be stripped of life, and to watch the process be glorified.
I said as much, and the Ex said "As long as they replant, it's OK. Without lumber we have no new houses, no growth." This is precisely the kind of attitude Derrick Jensen rails against.
"Maybe we shouldn't be growing anymore."

It was obvious he didn't understand. Didn't WANT to understand. He kept arguing, I kept grunting non-commitally.
Then Modern Marvels 'The Lumberyard' came on. More death. I went away. I couldn't watch it.
I looked at the internet, and saw an article about regulating banks, and how there should be worldwide standards and a Global Oversight Committee. Global Bank?

"This is it. We've reached the border. This is it. The New World Order."
Clutch - "Juggernaut"

Then the Dark Lord came on the TeeVee. Wow, he's letting real people like you and I ask questions in a "town hall" forum. Our government really DOES care about the little people. I feel so warm and fuzzy inside. Obammy GOOD......
NOT!
Don't think for a minute all those people weren't selected beforehand, so they could only ask questions that continue to distract us from the real issue.

NO MORE GROWTH!!!

WE ARE KILLING THE PLANET!!!

THERE WILL NOT BE ANYTHING LEFT FOR OUR CHILDREN BUT SLAVERY AND SOYLENT GREEN AND MANUFACTURED "AIR"!!!

Oh wait, I forgot. That is exactly what TPTB want.
No more Salmon, or lobsters, or trees, or clear trout streams. No more tigers, or bees, or apples, or whales, or pumpkins.

Will our children be as blind to the horror of their existance as we are to ours? Will they just accept that "it's the way things are?"
If I live to see it, I WILL off myself. And I'll take out as many of the murderers as I can along with me. Death by cop anyone?

I'm glad the economy is in the toilet. It slows the "progress" a little bit.
This civilization has got to go. We need to throw it out and start over. Yes, lots of people will probably die. It is necessary. I just hope it's TPTB that go first.
Come on Mother Nature, little help here?
I know you're pissed. I know you've got it in you to take this shit OUT.

One passage in End Game really helped me quit worrying about my own story;

"All of this has to stop. The truth is I am going to die someday. That's life. And if I die in the population reduction that takes place as a corrective to our having overshot carrying capacity, well, that's life too. Finally, if my death comes as part of something that serves the larger community, that helps stabilize and enrich the landbase of which I'm a part, so much the better."

The most important revelations in my life have come when I was very afraid of dying. Each time, I was able to let go of that fear. If I die, then I die. C'est la vie.
Not too many things feel as FREE as releasing your fear.

So I'm not afraid anymore.
Now I'm just ANGRY.

"I have suffered/ for your sins. But now is when/ the fun begins!"