Progress Report

I've foamed the floor in, and it turned out great. Solid and level. I bought a shelf for my clothes (the plastic 3 drawer one from wally world) so I could measure the bunk area to fit. I also got a bed. I wanted a nice memory foam mattress ($300.00), but in light of my recent financial developments I settled for an inflatable twin bed($10.00)
I slept great on an air mattress during Katrina, until the cat poked holes in it while playing with cockroaches. This one will be much better protected, with several bedding layers on top of the mattress.
After much measuring, I cut supports for the bedframe, and sanded and painted them. I don't really care what they look like, just that they don't give me splinters and are somewhat moisture resistant. I got some long (3") U bolts and drilled holes for them in the upright supports of the van. These will attach my 2x4 frame members to the body of the van.
I've started atteacking the structural rust at the back of the van, inside. One corner is entirely gone. Old rust got cut out with a sawzall, and new 2x4's were cut to fit the voids and form a structure for fiberglass. The 2x4's were treated with unthickened epoxy thinned with acetone to sink into the wood. Rot is the last thing I want.
I'll post pics as soon as I get the whole works in place.

Unemployed

Today I have officially joined the ranks of the unemployed. You won't see me in a statistic anywhere. I haven't been 'on the books' long enough to apply for unemployment. But there it is. I've managed to save some money, and I hope it's enough.
Monday the boss bitched me out. He wanted to know why I hadn't been putting in 100% effort. "Well, aside from the fact that I've been sick, you agreed to give me a $3.00/hr raise when I went on the books. And you owe me sales commission, so I am less inclined to work my ass off when you owe me money."
He said he never agreed to that raise, or when it would take effect. He said he was just doing what was legal, and any discrepancy in pay was between me and the Federal government. He wanted me to grovel and beg for my job. He said he needed me to make a long term commitment to the company, or cease to be employed. He gave me a day to think about it.
Curiously, on my way to work Monday, before any of this happened, I was thinking how nice it would be to be able to work on the van full time and get the fuck out of here ASAP. I was thinking about having to wear sunglasses every evening while driving ever westward, going to search for my green valley.
Be careful what you wish for.
I don't regret it, by any means. I think he was actually just pissed off and bluffing to try to get me to work harder. Boy was he surprised when I turned in my key today. He thought I needed him more than he needed me, and he was wrong. I mentioned that the federal government could kiss my pasty white ass; I was going to live on a commune with my mom.
God willing, I will never work 'on the books' again. It just supports this ravenous beast of a system. Fuck that. Fuck Louisiana and all the crooked motherfuckers that operate down here. I don't need this shit. I am so out of here.
So now the van is my full time job. I have a lot to do. I will probably take a break from the blogosphere, it is time consuming, and time is not something I can afford to waste now. I am leaving on a journey several thousand miles long in less than a month. I need to get my ducks in a row.
No more cigarettes, no more beer. It is a distraction and an expense I can no longer afford.
There is only room for focused intent and hard work to get ready to leave this place.
I feel like I'm drifting, floating... All of my attachments here have been cut. All that remains is leaving.
Ahhhh, the open road will be mine soon. Bring me that horizon.

Knowing

If you knew a friend was going to die in 24hrs from an unforseen accident, would you tell them?
If you knew a whole city would cease to exist in 6 months, would you tell it's citizens?
If you knew a world was about to crumble, would you warn them? Would they want to know?
Knowing is a curse. I've come to realize that lately. The emotional reality of what I know the future to be just hit home yesturday. I think I've been pretending I just thought I knew, based on rational analysis of facts.

I always wanted to be wrong.

But now I've accepted that I FEEL it. The real kicker of the situation is that I really CAN'T warn anybody. It wouldn't be fair to unload that on them, and they probably wouldn't be able to listen anyway. It just causes more grief. There is a reason some of us are panicking, and most aren't. It's simple. God only gives you what you can deal with.

Most people simply cannot bear to face the full emotional reality of what we are creating for ourselves. They would not make it. Their psyche would crumble. Better to allow them some happy delusions at the last, then cause them to live in unnecessary prolonged and helpless fear.

Bees are disappearing. Bats are dying. The oceans will be too acidic to support creatures at the bottom of the food chain by 2025. Our entire ecosystem is crashing. And that isn't even considering the geopolitical, financial, technological capacity we have to destroy ourselves. We are in the middle of one of the largest extinction events in planetary HISTORY.

This is not good news people.

We are phucked six ways to sunday. We are very likely going extinct as we speak. It's such a shame we had to take so many beautiful things with us.

But hell, there's not much I can do about it. I've thought about this for a while, and the best I can do is be with the people I love most, and pray.

I've had a good life. I've felt joy and sorrow. I have loved the ocean like a Mother. I've had the good fortune to experience many people and places. I've known much beauty and love. I don't regret a moment of my experiences here. Even the most painful have had something to teach me.

A very few times in my life, when I have felt most lost, I reach out and ask for help. It is of great comfort to me that I am always Answered. I prayed a lot yesturday.
And today I was answered.
The answer isn't always what you like to hear. Very often it flies in the face of anything logical. But I've tried logical. I've tried doing what we are "supposed" to do. Logic has nothing to do with god. The grand plan by it's very nature defies our logic. I guess that's why they call it faith.
Things will change fast now. I've been kicked into high gear. I had grand plans for my McVansion ;) but I need to get out FAST. One month, and I put this town to my rudder, and ne'er look back.

Music

I added a juke box, so if you want to hear some Clutch, or just get an idea of what I listen to, scroll down to the bottom of the page to play.
Hope you enjoy my bizarre mixture of punk/metal/industrial/bluegrass/60's hippie folk! Hey, there's something for everyone!
I have to admit, the song choices may be a little 'doomer' oriented.
Have fun!

Politics test

This is an interesting link. I fully expected to be labeled an anarchist, but apparently I'm a socialist (not an extreme one though)
http://www.okcupid.com/politics
Check it out.

New Floor

I got my new floor cut out and "dry fitted" in the van. I wanted it to be a pretty tight fit because I don't want to bolt it down and make more holes in the van.
It was tricky to get it just right, because there are weird shaped fuel fills and wheel wells to cut around. So I made a pattern for each side out of newspaper and traced it onto the plywood. It turned out pretty good.
Now I will apply "Great Stuff" expanding foam to the grooves in the floor of the van and hold the plywood down with my deep cycle batteries as the foam sets. (they weigh about 80lbs apiece)
The foam adheres to things pretty well, so between it and the tight fit I shouldn't need to bolt it down. Yay! I get to cut wood!

A couple interesting things happened the last few days. I was in the Qwik-e-mart buying my cancer sticks and the customer ahead of me was talking to the cashier about being overtaxed and finding a safe place for their money. The cashier mentioned an account in the carribean. I chimed in with "I'm just investing in food and ammo." They both looked at me, but not like I was crazy. More like they were considering it.

Then our 'crazy neighbor' came over wanting to know how many of the 4000 rounds of AK ammo he ordered the Ex wanted. Gun conversations went on for a while, then the neighbor told a story about how he met these guys in a diner who were talking about ammo. The guys were initially suspicious and asked if he was a cop, but it was readily apparent that he was one of the good ole' boys. So they invited him to the range. They have some kind of 'gun club' and a 'facility' in Mississippi. I wonder if it's anybody I know online?....
It was some consolation that if/when TSHTF, the Ex will team up with CN (crazy neighbor) and maybe be able to bug out to MS with da' boys. Ex and CN are going to the range tomorrow. Awwww.... I've given up him, but I still care if he lives or dies. It's encouraging to see him making helpful connections at least.

What's Our Excuse?

Thanks to Mayberry over at Keep It Simple Survival, I finally figured out how to make a youtube player appear in my blog. I thought this was a really sweet video;


So what's our excuse? We have a government that willfully tries to divide us. And we are dumb enough to listen to their BS.